It never ceases to humor me how people will tip-toe around asking me about my kids. My first was born during my first marriage, his biological father is black. My husband now is white and we have 3 very white - very red-headed boys (you can view archives for pictures). You can imagine when I'm out with them, some of the looks I receive. Here are some of the questions/comments I get:
"How'd you get three red-heads but he has brown hair?"
"Is he adopted?"
"He must spend more time outdoors!"
Now, I get that most people just wonder, and that's o.k., I have no problem with that. If I saw a family like mine, I'd probably wonder, too. But a word of advice, don't just make assumptions! Just ask - I promise it's o.k. At least for me anyway. It's more concerning for me to have to explain why someone would ask if he's adopted later on to my sons.
Talking about skin-color is fine! It doesn't define who a person is. You shouldn't have to tip-toe around the subject. I tell my boys they could all be purple for all I care - I wouldn't love them any less.
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3 comments:
Great post! One thing I love about my kids is listening to them talk about the color of other kids skin. They talk out of complete innocence and with no prejudice.
I drives me crazy when parents do not allow their children to notice or talk about the variety of people.
There are so many different colors and variations and it is what makes the human race beautiful and not boring.
I would automatically assume that your first child either had a different father, or that he was adopted, but I most certainly wouldn't make an uninformed comment.
My daughter, as a young girl, once had a fit when we were leaving someplace...she kept saying "I want to go back where the brown man was!". I was scared at first, I didn't want him to be insulted, but he found it hilarious that she didn't use the term black...because he was indeed BROWN.
We have a great racial mix in our neighborhood and the best part is that the kids don't question why some are black and some are not. They are not defined by their skin color or heritage...they are defined by their skills and abilities!
Thank you! Yes, it's interesting seeing the difference in how kids notice (hey, why's your skin brown?) and adults that have had to deal with the "I need to be PC at all times" movement.
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